Unless you’re cool enough to not care, Valentine’s Day and the capitalistic trail that follows Valentine’s Day is sort of depressing if you don’t have a built in partner, or a situationship that likes you enough to go kayaking in Clam Bayou, or I don’t know, share an orange creamsicle from Hyppo Pop.
For those of you in love and willing to go two tongues one popsicle -move along.
For single people, or those of you partnered and bored - this is for you.
If you want to get out of the house this week I’ve compiled a list of things to do in the name of being violently un-tethered. I’m legally obligated to say that you can do all of these things in a relationship, but it’s more fun to act like you can’t.
On v-Day itself. Celebrate Valentine’s with other people who just want to laugh the night away. Coastal Creative’s lofty warehouse space will become a comedy club for the night. Your host comic? Marcus Monroe. Marcus has received the prestigious Andy Kaufman Award and has even performed with Neil Patrick Harris. But you don’t care about that, you just need a hilarious distraction made better with drinks. If you’re going solo, nowhere better to do it than at a live comedy event. I don’t know why, it’s just more acceptable to be drunk while watching live comedy.
Nothing says “independent” like a gory social commentary horror flick. “Infinity Pool” is an R-rated indie horror film following a pair of vacationers who find themselves off the resort, and faced with death. Buying yourself out is the only option. Buy yourself a movie ticket, or go with friends to this dark showing. Plus, you’re supporting a locally-owned movie theatre!
Technically Fridays at the Hive are “date nights”. But you’re allowed to bring a friend, your mom, your platonic Tinder match that you just met, a co-worker, just yourself, literally anyone. No side eyes from the staff here. Bring a case of beer and $50 each to this indie pottery hut and get creative. It’s BYOB for beer and wine, (no liquor allowed, seriously) and each person will get two pieces of clay to make whatever your little heart desires.
Everybody knows Localtopia is this Saturday, but it’s better to enter this downtown mess with a purpose. American Stage Theatre Company is opening its doors to the great outdoors and inviting all of Localtopia in for drinks, karaoke, and a drag show at 1 and 2:30 p.m. on the theatre’s (air-conditioned) stage. Staff will be jamming out all day, and stray cats are more than welcome. They’ll listen to your Adele songs in the lobby and nod along.
You’ll never feel more like Julia Roberts in “Eat, Pray, Love” than while shopping for books at an outdoor market. It’s cliche, cost-effective, and by the beach. Head down to Indian Shores for the city’s library book market. You’ll find racks on racks of used books, records, live music, and no one will bother you. Unless you want them to. Just stare at a book long enough with a tote bag, it happens.
I literally hate yoga. But I’ve been going to Bella Prana’s yoga studio for about five years. If you can get past all the crystals and bullshit, it’s a really cool South Tampa studio and I’ve met/trauma bonded more than a few friends while sweating in a knock-off workout set. Sunday’s candlelit yit practice is such a restoring event, I recommend going along. Go with a friend, and you risk giggling away the magic. Plus, the class is just $5 (a donation) online, and if you refuse to pay that, show up early and you can still attend for free. FREE!
Treat yourself, American Stage’s Lift Every Voice New Play Festival is kicking off March with six new plays that will come to life on the stage at the James. It’s a huge deal, and tickets range from $25 per play to $100 for the whole weekend. You’ll feel amazing all month knowing what you have to look forward to.